How funny is this?
Not long ago I cracked open my old High School Yearbook. I say ‘cracked’ because it is made of parchment, animal hide binding, and they used thin slate for the covers. We used what we had back then, AND WE LIKED IT. The time machine part of it is funny, but if you read in between the lines of the ‘You are nice, have a nice summer’ quotes, you can see a little picture of your former self and maybe take stock in a few things. First, I was obnoxious as all outside, and surprised by today’s standards that I wasn’t thrown out of school altogether. I was totally over compensating my shortcomings by being a jackass. Trying to become your own person is hard when you are 16, and living up to the peer pressure of everyone else is brutal. Then someone created social media and made it 1000 times worse for kids to just figure out who they are. And now the adults these days buy in to it all as well.
But the this isn’t a social media lecture. This is a flashback lecture. I sat down at my computer to write this morning; for the first time in a LONG time; and my ‘recent document’ page showed me this dusty, antiquated jumble of words I needed the Rosetta Stone to translate. I wrote this entry almost a year ago. A year. And it sat unpublished for some reason. As I read it over, I smiled as to how much the entry paralleled today, including my attitude toward, well, everything. So this was my yearbook flashback, if you would without all the date rejection and lack of athletic prowess.
There are some chilling parallels from a year ago, including the recent snow, the frustration with the pandemic, my work ethic. I just finished an epic snowball fight and snowman making session yesterday with Henry, which just doesn’t get old. I still have gear from my snowboarding days. (PRO tip – Get some good winter gear and stash it away for snow days. Jeans just don’t hold up, southerners…) Point is – staying warm and dry makes the day last a lot longer.
Speaking of days, I still very much like 5AM. Maybe I was a milkman in my former life? I do like me some ice cream…
I also did put out my album, which was a labor of love. I will do it again, and again, and continue to wake up early and press myself to making music that reaches beyond my expectations. And I probably needed to read my own words on ‘success’ as well, as the lights sometimes dim and we need to stoke the fire from time to time. Outside help is great – it really is – but we already KNOW what kind of fire we need to light to be successful. It’s just getting off our collective butts and doing it…
And to quote the great Dr. Suess :
“And will you succeed? Yes! You will, indeed! (98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.) KID, YOU’LL MOVE MOUNTAINS! So… be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O’Shea, you’re off to Great Places! Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So…get on your way!”
So get on your way. And yes, we still have to clean the garage and have that yard sale. I’ll keep you all posted because who has guitars at yard sales? Me, that’s who.
Enjoy the day!
Steve (01/18/21)
Happy February, everyone!
I hope this finds everyone hanging in there, which sort of seems to be the theme. Living. It’s what we try to tackle every day. The recent storms in Texas were beyond words, and these events bring even more perspective to an already fragile world. Basic needs such as water, electricity, and heat were not available (and still aren’t in some places). Pair these issues with extreme cold, and these are ingredients for disaster. Sadly, there are people living all over the world without these basic necessities. This isn’t a ‘guilt trip’ entry – hopefully just one that opens our eyes a little to what we need to appreciate and gravitate toward.
We are all tired. We’re anxious to get back to some shadow of our former lives, especially in the hospitality and entertainment sectors. I get it. These days is all about a different kind of living. It’s shifting our gaze from beyond the horizon to the earth beneath our feet, and being reminded of what we have all around us.
This past week for us, it was snow. Lots of it. The kids finally went back to school, which was a blessing, then they were out for the next week. You know, it was cold, it was icy, we didn’t plan well and ran ‘low’ on food (which, in all honesty, means we didn’t have a stocked fridge but we had canned stuff for days, which we could have made work). You know what? It didn’t matter. We played. A lot. We had sleds out, we had family snowball battles, and we rolled snowmen. We took walks and followed animal tracks and I especially took in the quiet of a new snow. I am an all-season guy, and I love a new snow.
This past year has been a whirlwind of emotion and tests. Tests of patience, marriages, tests of self-worth and value, and tests for our country as a whole. In being ‘testy’ is sort of the new normal as well, which means that it seems people are ready to argue their point to a brick wall, even if the brick wall has more common sense. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, of course, which is why I tend to stay away from the toxicity of Facebook. I was into it for a long time, and was able to filter out the bad, however, as the times changed, so did I. I also realized the time spent on such things can be borderline ridiculous. Maybe that’s the old codger in me finally rearing its head.
Personally, some other things had to change. I am a bit of a caged beast in these times. I long to make noise, film some cool stuff, and be the sociable person I like to be. Instead of complaining more normal, I decided to get a little out of the ordinary.
So I got to work. I woke up every day early – like 4:30-5AM before the chickens and before the family – and went to my music space and just recorded music. It didn’t matter what came out of my head that morning, I didn’t judge myself. I just wrote. I gave myself some genre guidelines, and went for it. Some days I just had a beat and a chord. Other days, arrangements poured out that were almost complete. It was a fantastic challenge because a) at this rate, I’ll have 3 records done this year, b) it took me way out my comfort zone, c) the process made me better at my craft, and d) I actually have something to show for my efforts. I’m excited as can be, and I will give full details as they develop. As of right now, the first round of songs are being mixed, and I will release the album under a different name. But it’s me.
And exactly what is it, you ask? Ambient/chill music. Just music to play while you work or sleep or do yoga. Why do we need this in our lives? I think everyone needs a little help relaxing, right?
I took inspiration for this project from a couple of different places. In the process of the pandemic I’ve taken a lot of stock in what I have as opposed to what I don’t have. A lot of musicians around the world have been staring at their instruments and wondering, ‘Well, what’s the point?’ I had a lot of thoughts like ‘Well, here I am sitting in a room full of musical gear, what do I do with it?’ The kids are home 24 hours a day, and I can barely carve out time for a shower, let alone for composition. I had a great bass teacher one summer who told me I should get up at 4:30 or 5 to practice bass. As a 19-year old home on summer break, I thought he was nuts. Another bit of sound advice unheeded, just like that whole Bitcoin thing… But I digress.
As I have grown older, I appreciate the serenity of early mornings, even on the road. It’s not the easiest thing to do, and most of my friends think I’m crazy, however, I like being on dawn patrol. There is a beautiful, unreleased, unrealized energy about the dawn. It’s a quiet time to prepare for what’s to come, good or bad, but somehow, those first cool breaths in the crisp air can decide how you are going to approach the day. Finding the appreciation for something small – a flower, a dew drop, a slight breeze – can set up your mindset for the day. The morning doesn’t know how anxious or worried you are about something. It’s just here to provide a platform if you choose to let it in.
So taking inspiration from the morning, my drive, my very talented friends, being able to create music with headphones on whilst everyone else slumbers, I have finally ‘done’ something. Not that I haven’t been doing things my whole life, but this puppy is mine. And you know what? Now I want more. I want to get in my office and write as much as I can. What will happen with all this? Well, as my very successful friends show me – anything is possible. You never know who will hear what you are putting out into the universe, and who will actually listen. Let’s hope it’s not the Empire (Star Wars reference). I am not sure, but I don’t think they are appreciative of the arts.
Anyhow – this entry is long overdue, just like my garage cleanup day. I’ll get there as the weather warms and you can all come to the yard sale. Please stay safe and happy, and we will see you all again soon!
