The Journey.
Ahhh, crap. Here we go. I woke up early today, and this time not by choice, rather by the bad dreams of a 6 year old who decided that 4 something AM was a decent time to arise. When you are lying in bed hoping for slumber to take hold of your tired offspring, the mind will wander. This morning I started thinking of all of these great ideas for a journal entry. After the mental dartboard was fresh out of darts – when it lands on ‘write about music stuff’ 35 times I stop – I simply decided to write about you. Yes, you.
I had a conversation recently with a friend who is having a hard time. He is a certain age (still young in my eyes), yet he feels he’s not where he thought he would be in his 30’s. Not location-wise, but life-wise. He has put some self-imposed weight on his shoulders that has been distracting his from the important stuff. I told him I’ve spent the past few decades rowing that lifeboat. And maybe you have, too.
So let’s talk about what we want. Money always tops the list. Probably not wiping-your-tears-with-cash money, rather a comfortable existence where you want for naught. I get it. Order off the right side of the menu and not sweat it. We want kids. Well, part of that equation (could be) easy. The caring for them and your lifestyles, well, that’s different. Maybe we want a better job, or no job at all. Travel is always on the life list. Or maybe just excitement is what is needed.
Now, let’s look at what we have. Oh crap! You didn’t think there would be some inner soul searching here, did you? So what do you have? A job? A house? A car? I mean, probably a couple of these things. You are reading this on a computer or smart phone, so you are primed for change and have the means in your hands, if you want. But do you really want?
As I have this discussion, remember you are blessed. Truly. You woke up today, you had electrical power, a phone, probably food. There are 2 billion people in the world who woke up and had none of these things.
Now, back to the real you, and we’ll do this by talking about me. It’s my party and I’ll diatribe if I want to.
When I joined my mates in King Konga many moons ago, I left a decent little situation in Nashville (as I look back, it was dead-end as can be…) and moved into absolute poverty down in Hattiesburg, MS. I made $200 a week. My rent was $125 a month. We had rats the size of beavers scurrying along the walls at night, and I’m pretty sure the house was haunted.
I went home for Christmas a scant 3 weeks after joining the band and came back to Hattiesburg MISERABLE. I had no money for presents. I had nothing. I was trying to figure it all out, and I couldn’t. I knew that I wanted to play music, make people happy, and trying and eke out an existence somehow. Beyond that, I had NO idea. None.
I am confident that most artists go through this, and probably a lot longer that we want to admit, ESPECIALLY in this golden age of social media deception. It’s not all rainbows out there, I promise, but the few dozen people that are actually doing something make the rest of us feel like we aren’t living up to our potential.
So back to the ‘where we are’ talk. Several things come into play with this, and since I can only hold attention on here for a few more minutes, I’ll give the Jimmy Cliff’s notes version. First, no one really, REALLY sat me down and said ‘Here’s life. It’s short, and what you do every day may be all you get to do. It’s hard, you have to buy deodorant, and here’s how crappy the world can be.’ That’s a tough talk, for sure, and one that shouldn’t be labeled, or pressured with goals or benchmarks.
Before we go on, I do have caring parents that showed me the world through middle-class eyes, and even in my poverty stricken days I would find free or inexpensive ways to unwind and hit the reset button. More on that below…
‘I have to be a millionaire by age 30’, ‘I have to write my novel by age 40’, ‘I have to have a house and kids by age 25,’ whatever, Who needs this kind of pressure in their lives? What happens if you only have a net worth of 800k by age 30? Are you a failure? Not even close. BUT by the statement above you would be. Why set yourself up to fail? Be like me, and don’t set goals! (KIDDING).
Instead of setting these crazy goals, set small realistic ones. Dream big of course. Don’t EVER stop doing that. The work needs to be done, however. You want to be a race car driver? What are you doing to get there? Watching racing doesn’t count. While you work on your dreams, remember the truest meaning of happiness…
The journey. The flowers, the historical placards on the wall that are only read by myself and like 9 other nerds, the sunsets, the laughs with friends, the ball games, the smell of the beach, the feel of making mud pies with the kids, the towers you get to climb, the new trails that lead to hidden lakes, small batch ice cream, trying to make sushi at home (once), new tennis shoes and the feel of the sun on your shoulders. These are a few of my favorite things.
With a couple of exceptions, a lot of these are free. Just sitting around in the sun is not going to pay the rent unless you are an influencer, which throws my entire argument out of the window. My point is that life is all about how you approach it.
I know a lot of wealthy people. I think the general consensus is that money is cool and all, but they’d rather have health. Part of that health is lifestyle, getting outside, interaction with real people. You know; what they do in Europe.
My musical life, which started in poverty and has continued through middle class has taught me so much about taking in the world we are afforded to see. Yes, I was on the road a lot, so I had more opportunity to see interesting places. I also could have stayed in my bunk all day and not ventured into the world. Hey you – traveling salesman! Get out of the hotel bar and I dunno, find a bar you can walk to down the street? Just get out.
I can’t type this and tell you every day is amazing over here. It’s not. I can say that I try. That’s all I can do. I certainly won’t put unrealistic pressure on my own shoulders. I won’t have a number one hit song by age ______ (or probably any age). I won’t see a Lambo in my driveway unless one of the kids leaves his Hot Wheels out there.
I am not wealthy. At all. I’d love to give my family everything all the time, however, that just doesn’t and can’t happen. So instead I try and show them the little things that make it all happen; that make life ‘life’. And you know what, from the car seat in the back I hear ‘Look at that sunset!’ and it’s all sinking in and totally worth it.
Make today part of your journey.
See you…somewhere?
