Look a little closer for help…
Not long ago the family was headed to soccer practice, and sometimes in the car the boys like to hop on a streaming service and pick songs. Ahh, kids these days. When Dad used to ‘let’ us listen to the radio, we certainly couldn’t pick the station, let alone have our ‘song du jour’ on demand.
Someone errantly typed in an artists’ name, and some soothing, new age instrumental music started up. After about 30 seconds of listening, Henry says ‘Dad, this sounds like Alex St. James.’ I kinda froze. Then smiled.
Alex St. James is me, the secret alter ego that isn’t really a secret. I decided to make an instrumental record during lockdown, and incorporated lots of elements of my family in the project. The album art is a painting the Henry brought home when he was about 2. The name is a mix up of my kids’ names. The experiment was fun, and then a some friends bought the album (thank you!), and there are some streams that come in from time to time, but nothing earth shattering.
In all honesty, the project was to see what I could actually accomplish. I had never written everything on a record before, let alone play all the tracks. I certainly learned a lot, and realized that even within that world of instrumental music there were small elements within the music that could change the whole vibe. This project opened my eyes.
I wanted to get back into another record for ASJ, so I went to work. I went in some new directions, and after months of work, I sort of stopped. I think life took precedent, or maybe my ‘well, why build another car, since there are so many out there already?’ negative Nancy voices started talking.
I do know that part of the reason for stopping was that I started actually listening back to my music, and listening to what others in the field were doing. I wasn’t comparing myself to others, rather getting a feel for why certain music was more successful, or even deeper, what about the tracks made them stick? Sound choices, production, themes? All this pings in my head when I get moving on something. It made an impact on my production, and my interest waned a little, with the inspiration just not there.
So back to the car. Henry makes his statement, and I listened to the track coming through the car speakers. You know, it was not, well, pleasing, at least to me. It was fine for what it was, but not the lush, rich sonic painting I would have tried to paint. And here it is, somehow highlighted on my streaming service. My brain jumped in and said, you know, if THIS guy can put this music out into the universe…
The music business is just that – business. I can write the greatest song ever written and die broke because I didn’t have the greatest record promoter. (I suppose that’s dinosaur thinking – I should just slap it on YouTube and be all viral and junk). The marketing and navigating all that is necessary within your career is a whole other job in itself, guaranteed to drive you crazy as you try to write new material. Oh, and we have to have a life and pay rent from time to time as well.
All of that means nothing. Truly. Years ago, when Henry was very little, he used to come home with an expression from day care. He used to say ‘You gotta try, Daddy.’ I can still hear his little voice saying it. Miles now comes home from kindergarten saying ‘Do your best.’
We hear these little people offer up nuggets of things they’ve learned at school and say ‘Oh, that’s cute’, but we should really, really listen. Our kids not only can help steer our ship, but can offer that subtle reminder of things we may need to hear. Scratch that – truly need to hear.
For the longest time, we didn’t say the word ‘can’t’ in our house. We actually still don’t, however, on occasion, the tantrum of ‘I CAN’T DO IT’ comes out. Then it’s my turn. We turn it into ‘I can’t yet’. Maybe that’s the play for all of us that get down on ourselves.
So my next album is off and running, and maybe I’ll sell more than I did last go round, and maybe more people will dig it than last time. Gotta try, right? And if they don’t, at least I’ll have that batch of songs off my chest clearing space for the next round of music.
Which is actually happening now in tandem. I’ll get into that as the wheels get totally off the ground. And then we’ll talk about the next one, which is just starting to percolate. My cryptic scribblings are only going to get worse. 2023 will see a lot of music from me.
Back to you, since you are the reason I am here. Go try. Something, anything that isn’t in your wheelhouse. Listen to the kids. They know some things, too. And seriously, go stream my music. I guarantee you’ll fall asleep fast, or your next night’s sleep is free!
See you soon!
